What happened to the Republican party!

“So, tell me about the history of the amendment

again. I’m too young to remember.”

“Well, it all started with the hog flu, which

killed off an enormous percentage of the

population. Seems it reacted to the chemicals

released in the body of those who are habitual

liars.”

“And that’s what wiped out the Republican party?”

“Well, they didn’t have any candidates left to run

for office. Then there was the deer-antler flu,

so-named because some hunter from the Midwest

contracted it from a deer antler. A white stag,

actually. Very Arthurian, somehow.”

“That was the one that hit people with a low IQ?”

“Not exactly. It attacked those who were not using

their brains, independent of mental capacity. That

took care of anybody who would have even thought of

voting Republican. On further investigation,

scientists discovered that thoughtfulness leads to

consideration for others, resulting in an

alteration of body chemistry which was completely

lacking in Republicans. But by then it was too

late.

“The following year, the Libertarian Party won a

landslide victory, and we were able to end all wars

on the planet, completely end starvation, hunger,

and poverty everywhere on the planet, demolish the

nuclear arms stockpiles, eliminate pesticide use,

eliminate greenhouse emissions, cease entirely the

use of petroleum products by massive conservation

and converting to a largely solar-based fuel

economy, properly fund all schools, including

programs in art, music, sculpture, and dance, save

all the remaining rain forests, end all whaling and

overfishing, and basically bringing about basic

peace and contentment planet-wide while ceasing all

forms of environmental destruction.”

Authored by Vivian Darkbloom